Zenji

South Africa

Composer of Lion King theme song, Lebo M, on a YouTube podcast One54 Africa said that ‘there is no way on earth’ a Zimbabwean Shona, who lived in KwaZulu Natal for three or five years can know or understand Zulu. This is in reference to Zimbabwean comedian Learnmore Jonasi whom he sued for USD 27 million dollars for desecrating his song in a previous show on the same channel. Though later, while transcribing his private texts to the Learnmore, he asks him to consider respecting his ‘Zulu ancestors’. The Nigerian American hosts then ask him about the mass protests and violence that has been taking place in South Africa and why immigrant intolerance is being meted out against Africans alone. He shouts as he jumps out of his seat, [Those are] are ‘our white people!’. He adds soon after that Black South Africans were better off in the pre-1994 apartheid government.

As to being ‘their white people’, I think it’s about time. It’s been 374 years since the first Dutch ship arrived on the South African coast. If a true ‘rainbow nation’ is finally emerging out of that historical mash up, the objective behind the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of 1995 would have been achieved. However, it is highly unlikely that the ‘white’ people- the Afrikaans and British people who have lived in Africa for generations consider the African people of South Africa, ‘their black people’.

There was no South Africa for all pre-1994. The black South Africans themselves were considered immigrants when they crossed into white territory. The Promotion of Black Self Government Act of 1959 made Bantustans, the designated territories of black people and black people coming into areas like Johannesburg to work in the life draining mines, were supposed to carry a pass and were assigned to hostels to live as migrant labour. Urban areas and white designated areas became accessible after 1994. South Africa as we know [knew] it was not built for all South Africans. It is almost unthinkable that 32 years after the ‘Born Free’ generation broke out, that a black South African would declare apartheid a better time.

The effects of apartheid, the psycho-social issues have been clear but some are just becoming more evident. The broken homestead and the great economic divide between white and blacks have led to high crime rates but unspoken or unknown to many is a system of violence between Africans themselves and of South African men against women. As of 2010 -2014, public statistics showed that at least one in six South African women had been raped. That meant that at least 1 in 6 South African men or more might have been a violator. A nurse I visited, from a Ugandan immigrant family living in Rustenburg, Pretoria had noted with fear the many cases of gender based violence her hospital was receiving at the time. Sources from South African literature also documented persisting practices like Ukutwala and myths surrounding HIV/AIDS as underlying factors towards violence against women. It was not just black South Africa though, a quick run through of the cases we studied in our criminal law curriculum partially explained the ghost of deep national trauma haunted the air long after Mandela walked out of prison.

@amk

When I reported the theft of my phone to police one morning in Hatfield, Pretoria, the first question they asked was if there had been violence. After I said no, they stopped writing the statement and told me to report to MTN. It was well known that there were places, even in the most highly structured places like Cape Town where it was unreasonable to walk after sundown. Even tourist hives like Signal Hill were hotspots for armed robberies and sexual assault. Every population where the men have been beaten down has the same symptoms; a monster for a monster -as in American slave history- households absent of men, women carrying the sole financial responsibility, in South Africa’s case at the time, many babies were brought up by gogos, while their young mothers are away in urban areas fighting for a degree, a Masters and a PhD. The disillusioned dislocated boys and men inebriated by drugs and alcohol become the menace of their society.

Even when the BEE, Black Economic Empowerment program, an affirmative action tool among other controls, was created to shift the scales to balance, by placing money in the hands of black people, this did not help. Young black men with handouts suddenly became rich. You could tell who the BEEs were. Everyone whispered BEE when they passed in hot flashy cars with intolerably loud music. They did not need University, the Zimbabweans did.

@amk

Other actions that the South African post-apartheid government took was to ring fence professions. Teachers, nurses and doctors from the rest of Africa were no longer being recruited en masse. Foreigners- mainly other Africans were not allowed to do medicine as of 2010. Lawyers also could not recruited by an law firm unless they had permanent residence. There remained professionals like accountants who were still needed by the country and once that gap had been filled, a cap may have been introduced. Apart from this, a move which led to large emigration by white South Africans is the employment affirmative action policy which created a hiring hierarchy- starting with Black Women first, Black Men and ending with a White man no matter the performance on the interview or the academic qualifications. Also, every white majority company was required to sell some shares to a black person and/or employ at least one black person. This led to the advent of the token unqualified black guy in the back who was presented in case of government inspection.

The issue of Zimbabweans

Nigerians were best known for fraud in previously white suburban areas like Sunnyside, Pretoria, where they carried out apparently, many illegal dealings. In Hatfield. Pretoria they were known for illegal foreign exchange of money. Banks like ABSA and Standard Bank had rigorous checks, declarations and forms to sign when it came to exchanging foreign money plus a percentage deducted as a service charge. To avoid the process and the charges which were hefty on a student pocket, we were directed to the Nigerian backdoor foreign exchange. They literally hid in the back of Arab shops and only came out when they were certain that you were not part of the authorities. Their rates were low. A quick thousand Rands in exchange for dollars from their stash of cash and you were in and out in a breath.

@amk

The Zimbabwean issue though was different. Some did odd jobs in fields like construction but many others got in through Higher Education. My experience with the Zimbabweans I met was that they were highly intellectual people, clearly a useless, unwanted and dangerous trait in every African government. Zimbabwe had failed them. They only needed the the right architecture to climb.

When High School ended at the notoriously disruptive age of 17, some South African boys battled with the decision to earn money and get quick access to designer shoes and clothes or go through years of intense academic study with the prize only at the end. Zimbabweans, like all other immigrants around the world studied and worked like their life depended on it, because it did. As of 2010- 2014, the University of Pretoria still had, as of 2010 -2014 a 60% white, 40% black quota system of enrolment. This was an improvement from the pre-1994 policy where no blacks were allowed.

Africa

During my years in South Africa, Africa to the South African meant anywhere outside South Africa. South Africans constantly referred to the rest of Africa, as ‘Africa’ but never considered themselves part of it. They did not know or care about their Geography beyond their own homeland and the big cities. Just like Black Americans, Black South Africans were very insular and concerned mainly about their ‘own issues’. We had spent years learning about the History and Geography of the Africa, specifically, South Africa [and some West Africa] but they, could not tell or care where East Africa was. Many of them had colourism ingrained in them. A person was only beautiful if they were light-skinned. The term ‘yellowbone’, though it was supposed to sound slightly disparaging was steeped in envy.

The ‘Africa’ in South Africa was probably an emphasis by the Dutch and British to distinguish their piece of gold and diamond from sub-Saharan Africa. The Africans already existing inside the South of the Continent though, referred to it constantly as Mzansi. The word ‘Africa’ in South Africa held absolutely no connection to the rest of Africa. They inwardly believed that they were different, separate and ultimately better off than [other]Africans. That is what ‘their whites’ had told them.

Africa was already a severely divided continent even before Europe ‘discovered’ it. The Divide and Rule policy though very effective in oppression of majorities, must have been easier to implement because of the already existing infighting and disunity of Africans. A lack of concerted effort, determined focus and dedication towards a better or rehabilitated future is a stagnating factor of the entire continent. In California, on 4th July 2026, in commemoration of America’s 250th Independence Day, a time capsule was laid down seven feet in the ground with articles from our world to be opened in two hundred years. Nations think in terms of generations, we think about right now. We have betrayed our own selves. Who needs enemies when we have an Africa like ours? I wonder how long it will take South Africans to realise that the problem of South Africa may not be Africa, but a rather common African problem.

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I think Learnmore Jonasi’s joke on the Lion King theme song may have gone too far. The song is amazing musically and has been iconically African for many years. He seemed to make nonsense of it.

Why are so many talk shows on a video platform referred to as podcasts? I thought a podcast format is audio only.

Story

HAM?

There is a new move towards erasing the African identity in the most effective and profound manner anyone can erase an identity- by name. Africans of undiluted ancestry, dating back thousands of years ago are going by names like Derek Shepherd and Anita Glory.

I wonder if some of the movements behind this standardisation of all groups of people would be just as happy themselves to go by any other name – a Larry Ssemanda perhaps, untraceable to their original ethnicity. Maybe we should all colour ourselves with paste, make ourselves all uniform. Some of the most esteemed women in this town are already orange-black, and not by birth. Old photos are cropping up like evidence once thought buried.

“What is in name? That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell just as sweet.” Elon by any other name, maybe Melon, would sound just as suave- Melon Musk. Yet, even an app such as X, is constantly referred to only by relation to its first name Twitter.

It’s not only names that are being disposed of, our low sense of self has now spread to accent. As usual, we Africans are so ashamed of being African, that we are afraid for any native tongue bias to be detected in our speech. A BBC article recently reported that Nigerians are paying well for new accents in order to speak in a more American way. I have a feeling they are not being trained to speak the Black American way. We Africans are notorious for being un-united in any sphere that requires unity- not at home and definitely not in foreign places.

Our own public speakers are already now rattling words in an American accent. The American accent being one among many- they forget that there is more than one way to be European. There are French, English, Italian and Greek accents. [Are Greeks, European? Their debt situation might have made their genealogy suspect.] Though, even in Britain and France, it is said that people from different regions speak distinctively differently and can be identified by origin solely by the way they speak. In Wales, they speak a Celtic language which is nothing similar to English.

So, while we are still struggling with how to pronounce “twenie twenie three” and “twira”, while sounding like Obama or Biden, other people have the liberty to actually focus on the nuances and delivery of their message without worrying about the approval of a global certification of accent. I’m not immune to the constant realisation [even this word “ri- a- lize” versus “ri- alize” – is being targeted] that I say hop for both hope and hop [I was alerted to this] and I say “bo-da” for both border and boda-boda [ after reading an article written by an English man where he said that the word “Boda” morphed from the word “Border” in Busia town, I realised I had just pronounced the words exactly the same.] I wonder when in Busia town- the letter r was ever enunciated in a word like border. Bad for bad and also bird. Hat for hat and also heart. Just when I’m wondering if it is necessary to learn all the new ways to speak [ignore the Gen Z grammar deficit- This hair is hairing, This outfit is giving], I hear Japanese and Koreans’ attempt to speak Hingrishi and things fall apart .

It is hard to focus after hearing “Ey-braham” and “Sera” and the god of the heathen “bale”. I wonder sometimes if some supernatural force indeed is using accent differentiation to prevent the message from coming across. It is even stranger that most of these names are in Hebrew and not English. The name Goliath for example, is pronounced “Goli-at” in Hebrew. It is the equivalent of insisting on calling Iraq, “ai raq” when its inhabitants have over and over again, showed you that it is pronounced “eraq”.

If everything we are is of such low quality, why did we not go extinct? Isn’t it the law of nature that everything of a weaker form is eventually subdued by the stronger?

It is not enough that drums and dancing are reserved only for cultural celebrations, and badly played keyboards on maximum sound are the only musical instruments allowed in village churches, but now our names must disappear too.

Why are we always keen on being anyone but who we are? We do not need to embrace it all. We can accept what was bad for us and leave it behind and then treat with reverence what was good. We are not the ones who made ourselves a gold calf after seeing God. We are also not the ones who created the guillotine.

Yes, a full English Breakfast sounds more sophisticated than Katogo, but some group of people stuck to eating with [chop] sticks and it became arguably the most admired exotic cuisine; and, however wispy or sparse their hair gets, I have not seen a non- African woman wearing an afro textured wig. If it was possible to get a hair transplant that grows out as Brazilian hair and a lace front, our hair would be extinct by now .

The Jackson five didn’t escape it. Worldwide fame didn’t help the ever flowing fountain of evolving hate that Africans love to drink from. We don’t even believe we deserve better. We would rather live in filth and then travel to Netherlands to marvel about how clean their streets are. We feel like we don’t deserve love. We don’t really believe we deserve care. We certainly don’t deserve the best, unless someone else created it for their own people.

That is why most of our schools teach us how to eat bean weevils and why the askari will maul you for tasting chicken. Now some Ugandans are offended when anyone associates them with grasshopper eating but they are quick to jump onto the ‘sea food experience’. They will happily eat mussels, squid, octopus and prawns. They will also excitedly try escargot.

We are like a child whose own mother never loved them, the child who is always at the neighbour’s house looking for love and acceptance. The neighbour only has food enough for her own and no matter how much she tries to include him, she just can’t take him along when her own children are going for swimming and she definitely cannot take him for the family photo.

If it were not for the rich percussion of African drums, powerful enough to raise the hair on your skin, African music would have ceased to exist. [The poetry we enjoy in Luganda music and between the bride and groom’s parties at Kwanjula’s; and the poetry in Kwevuga should not be just a passing amusement. It should be harnessed somehow, not exploited, not cheapened, but protected. ]

We give flavour to the world. Without us, all the laughs would be a hollow ha ha ha, not a rumbling nondescript sound from deep within, shaking our stomach and making us gasp for air. We have the tightest curl pattern and the darkest skin. Our way of living in harmony with nature conserved the earth.

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If you were not part of dress choosing or fitting, you’re not the first on the makeup line and the makeup artist does not even know your name, you don’t know where the venue is and you’re in an unspoken state of “what are we?”, you are not the Matron. Attend or don’t attend, you are not crucial to the occasion.

If the lowest common denominator of the group keeps making fun of you, or speaks to you in a condescending way, you are the second lowest common denominator of that group and you are competing for last place, you just don’t know it.